Devotional.
There was one night when Theo was three, when he woke up at 3:30 am from a nightmare.
He was distraught, crying because he thought I'd broken his knife (he had a little dog-shaped kids' knife that he used at dinner).
He was absolutely adamant that I'd broken it, and he was heartbroken.
I have no idea why that was what he was dreaming about, but he was not happy.
Even at breakfast the next morning, he was still upset about it. I had to show him that it wasn't broken, and even then he thought I must have fixed it.
And I realized I do the same thing with God's grace.
I'm convinced I've broken something in my relationship with God. Not beyond repair, but damaged. That I need to work to restore it, to earn my way back to where I was.
And even when God shows me His grace is intact, freely available, unbroken, I can't fully accept it. I keep believing the nightmare version instead of the truth.
I don't deserve God's grace. I know that's the point, grace is undeserved.
But knowing it theologically and actually receiving it are two different things.
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that God says: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Grace isn't something I deserve. It's a gift freely given.
Living in grace means accepting that I'll never deserve it and receiving it anyway. It means believing that grace isn't depleted by my need for it.
That God's not keeping score.
That His grace meets me exactly where I am: Insufficient, weak, undeserving, and loved anyway.
Today, whatever you think you've broken, whatever you feel you need to earn back, God's grace is already there.
Unbroken. Freely given. Sufficient.
Prayer.
Lord, Your grace is sufficient, enough for whatever I'm facing, adequate for my weakness, complete for my need, perfect for my insufficiency.
I keep looking for something more, something else, some other solution or strength or resource, when what You've already given in Your grace is enough.
Teach me that sufficient doesn't mean barely adequate but perfectly complete, that Your grace covers everything I lack, fills every gap, provides for every need I have.
I feel insufficient constantly, aware of my limitations, my weaknesses, my inability to handle what's in front of me, but Your grace meets me exactly there in my insufficiency.
Help me stop searching for strength beyond Your grace, stop thinking I need something more than what You've provided, to trust that Your grace really is enough.
Remind me that Paul learned this in his weakness, that Your grace was sufficient for his thorn, that what You told him is just as true for me today.
Give me peace that comes from knowing Your grace is sufficient, that I don't need to be sufficient because Your grace covers my insufficiency perfectly.
Let me rest today in this truth, His grace is sufficient, and I need nothing more than what You've already so freely given.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
